At home, your mom feels free to get emotional. If you approach the subject of elder care there, she’s more likely to get angry or become panicked and cry.
Pick a restaurant or other public location where you can have a rational discussion. Make sure you’ve timed it so that she’s not overly tired. Breakfast may be better than dinner. If she’s in a public spot, she’s less likely to get angry or emotional. That makes it easier to have a conversation about the benefits of elder care.
Talk about all the benefits elder care offers. She wouldn’t have to be alone all day, every day. She would have someone available to shop with her and carry in the groceries and other items she may purchase. Her caregiver could help her with housework, laundry, and meals.
With this help, your mom has time to do the things she enjoys. She could spend more time with you and the grandchildren. She could spend more time in her gardens or reading books.
If she knows anyone who has elder care services, see if your mom could stop by on a day the caregiver is present. Seeing what it’s like could be all it takes for her to be convinced it would benefit her.
Talk to your mom about all the different ways elder care services help people. This can help her understand that the caregivers are there to assist her and not impact her independence.
Make sure she knows that caregivers come by on a scheduled basis and not randomly. She’ll know when it’s time for her caregiver to arrive and when the caregiver will leave. There are no surprises.
Once she’s open to the idea of elder care, make sure she’s part of the planning. Allow her to participate in calls and interviews. If you get to talk to individual caregivers, let her ask the questions. You can fill in gaps if needed when she’s done. If she’s involved in arranging elder care, she’s more likely to embrace it.
Co-Owner, First Choice Senior Care
Kayla Stephens is the co-owner of First Choice Senior Care. She grew up in Northeast Arkansas, and has worked in rehabilitation, hospice care, managed nursing homes and a large home care agency. She has received several awards for sales and quality achievements in hospice and long-term care.
Kayla believes in advocating for and educating seniors and their families on a variety of topics and issues that impact them. Reflecting on the need for an independent home care provider interested in quality over quantity, she chased her dream of building her own company that would make a significant difference in the lives of seniors, providing a much-needed service in her own local community.
Kayla holds a Bachelor of Science degree from Arkansas State University, is licensed by the state of Arkansas as a Long-Term Care Administrator, and is a Certified Senior Adviser.
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