The first step is definitely to take a step back and to take a deep breath. You might be tempted to rally to the defense of your advice, but that’s going to be counterproductive ultimately. If your senior is determined that she doesn’t need your advice, doubling down on it won’t help at all. In some cases, you might need a literal time out, so consider engaging senior care providers to step in for you while you’re taking the time you need.
How important is the advice you’re offering? If it’s life-saving advice that is necessary right this minute, then, of course, you need to stick with it. If, on the other hand, the advice you’re offering is more general or is something that can wait a bit, then you’re going to be better served by waiting for the situation to change a bit.
You probably don’t need to abandon the topic altogether. This is about your senior’s well-being, after all. But you shouldn’t harp on the topic. Bringing it up now and again is definitely enough to help her to understand that you’re serious and that this is something you’d like for her to pay attention to. Going overboard with the reminders isn’t going to help.
As her caregiver, you want what’s best for your aging adult, but sometimes that can come across in a different manner than you expect. When you think you’re just trying to express concern, your senior might feel as if you’re treating her like a child. Always pay attention to how you’re talking to your elderly family member and that you’re acknowledging her as an adult.
Throughout this difficult process, keep tabs on your elderly family member’s safety. The true goal here is to keep her as safe as you possibly can, even if she’s not excited about your advice. You may find that as her circumstances change, she may feel differently about agreeing with the advice you’ve given her.
Just because you know what you’re talking about and what your elderly family member needs, that doesn’t mean that she’s going to fall in line. You may have more than one time during your caregiving journey that you’re forced to take a step back and just help where and how you can.
Co-Owner, First Choice Senior Care
Kayla Stephens is the co-owner of First Choice Senior Care. She grew up in Northeast Arkansas, and has worked in rehabilitation, hospice care, managed nursing homes and a large home care agency. She has received several awards for sales and quality achievements in hospice and long-term care.
Kayla believes in advocating for and educating seniors and their families on a variety of topics and issues that impact them. Reflecting on the need for an independent home care provider interested in quality over quantity, she chased her dream of building her own company that would make a significant difference in the lives of seniors, providing a much-needed service in her own local community.
Kayla holds a Bachelor of Science degree from Arkansas State University, is licensed by the state of Arkansas as a Long-Term Care Administrator, and is a Certified Senior Adviser.
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